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05 October 2009 @ 12:10 am
The one with the ass shrine.  

Title:The one with the ass shrine.
Warning: boy/boy porn, spanking, dirty talk 
Word Count: 1,062
Summery: Jensen finds a site dedicated to Jared's ass.
Disclaimer: Jared, Jensen, and Chad own themselves. Jared owns his own ass, and Jensen owns his own ass(maybe they own eachothers, but thats none of my business really). I don't own eather site, and the Ackles Ass Equation belongs to potthead




Jensen usually didn’t open emails from Chad. They were bad news. He didn’t really know why he decided to open this one, except for the fact that the subject line caught his eye.

Jared’s ass site!!!!!

Now, Jensen probably should have known this was not going to end well. He figured, it was probably some stupid fan fiction where he is obsessed with Jared’s ass or whatever, and he was just going to ignore it. However, he had a flicker of hope that it was something else, something that could possibly embarrass his co-star, so he opened it.

Jensen knows he shouldn’t have clicked on the link, just the name of the site should have been a clear indicator, but Jensen marched on, ignoring the little nag in his stomach telling him “DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!”

So he went to www.Jaredpadaleckisass.com and was met with the video of continuous Jared ass.

Of course, he couldn’t stop laughing when he saw it, the video mixed with the ridiculous song, and then he went through the pictures. Really, anyone who had this amount of time on their hands deserves a medal or something, because this shit is hilarious.

When he got to the testimonials, he thought it a shame that only two people’s quotes were put up there. Jensen was sure that more had commented on Jared’s ass. Though, Jensen couldn’t help but laugh hysterically at Sam Ferris’s testimonial.

Then he saw the “smack it!” link.

Never has Jensen laughed as hard as when he is virtually smacking Jared Padalecki’s ass.

That of course is when Jared walked into his room.

“Hey Jen, what are you- uhh…” Jared stopped dead when he heard the “smack that” song continuously playing on Jensen’s lap top, along with the occasional “SMACK IT!” that he knew to be from the season one gag real.

Jensen was laughing too hard to respond to him.

“Shit, Did Chad send you that?!” Jensen just nodded, still in hysterics.

“Dude, this shit is so much fun. Did you actually look at this thing? Some of these photo’s are like, not from the show. Someone actually zoomed in on your ass and crotch area and took pictures.”

Jared just sighed and sat on Jensen’s bed.

“Oh well, I guess my ass is just the best. I guess I can’t blame them for making a shrine to it.” Jared smirked and Jensen scoffed.

“I’m sure I have one too. I’ll just Google it.”

So Jensen googles, and that’s how he found www.jensenacklesass.com.

“SEE! HA! I do have one. I bet you anything Mine is going to be so much better.”

So Jensen clicked the link, and the song started up.

Jensen smirked.

“Look, they are calling my ass King of Kings. AND my set up is nicer. Face it Jay, my ass has more fans than….Is that Mike Rosenbaum? Why the hell is Mike Rosenbaum on a website about my ass?”

And that’s when Jared started cracking up laughing.

“Oh my god Jensen! People dislike your ass so much, that the site dedicated to it, isn’t even about your ass!” Jared started laughing harder and fell back on Jensen’s bed.

“Fuck you Padalecki; my ass is so much better than yours!”

And then in a serious voice, completely devoid of laughter, Jared said,

“Prove it.”

And that’s how it all started.

Now, Jared had Jensen bent over the desk, thrusting into his “not loved” ass.

“Fuck Jen, when I said prove it, I meant prove it. You haven’t proven shit so far, all you have proven is that you’re a filthy slut that’s willing to bend over for anyone.” Jared spit out during a particularly hard thrust.

Jensen moaned and pushed back onto Jared.

“J-jay? What the fuck are you talking about?” Jensen was confused, he had never heard Jared talk like this, and it was kind of hurting his feelings.

Jared stopped his movement and Jensen thinks he might have to kill him.

“Jen, its dirty talk, play along, god…” and with that, Jared picked up with his hard thrusting.

“You’re not even trying. Your just letting me pound your ass, and let me tell you, I’ve had better. No wonder your site was about Mike, your ass couldn’t hold anyone’s interest for very long.” Jared whispered low and dirty into Jensen’s ear.

Jensen whimpered and tried to thrust back harder, trying to prove to Jared that his ass was worth something.

“That’s right Jen, thrust back on me. Fuck yourself on me like the dirty skank that you are.” Jared stopped moving, and let Jensen do all the work.

Jensen pushed back, almost crying because it wasn’t enough, not at all. Jared looked at Jensen’s ass and smiled, then with his huge palm, he smacked it hard. Jensen let out a small scream because it was so unexpected.

“Fuck, that’s hot. Your ass is a little more interesting when it has my palm print on it.”

Jared continued to smack Jensen’s ass as he fucked him, moaning low and growling every so often.

“Jen, do you want to come? If you wanna come, you gotta make me come first. Work your ass for me, make me come Jensen.” Jared nibbled on Jensen’s ear and Jensen moaned.

Then, Jensen clenched his ass muscles ever so tightly and Jared lost it, not expecting the sudden tightness. He shot deep into Jensen’s hole, and bit down on his shoulder instead of moaning.

Jensen yelled from the pain in his shoulder, and the strange feeling of come in his ass. Jared slouched down on Jensen, spent from his orgasm and Jensen whimpered.

“Good job Jen..good job…” Jared panted out, and then grabbed a hold of Jensen’s cock, pumping it hard and fast.

It didn’t take long for Jensen to come. Afterward, Jared laid them down in Jensen’s bed, and pulled Jensen into his arms.

“So, is my ass great now?” Jensen chuckled and cuddled into a sweaty Jared.

y=-(sin(x^(1.7/6)+4)+(1/x))+10” Jared said breathily.

“What?!” Jensen said, looking at Jared like he had ten heads.

Jared just chuckled and said the math equation again.

“y=-(sin(x^(1.7/6)+4)+(1/x))+10… That’s the equation for the curve of your ass. I have it memorized. The fan girls may not have an official shrine to your ass, but I do.”

Jensen cuddled into Jared more and smiled secretly.

He will have to thank Chad later.

kewpie doll mass murderer level of cuteness: fangirlfeathertofly on October 5th, 2009 04:28 am (UTC)
BAHAHAHA yes. That's all I have to say, is YES. :D
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 04:30 am (UTC)
:D I couldn't help myself when I came across that site. I seriously couldn't.
kewpie doll mass murderer level of cuteness: thumbs upfeathertofly on October 5th, 2009 04:32 am (UTC)
I am SO addicted to that site, I seriously go there like twice a day. The booty song is my ringtone.

... Not that I'm batshit fangirl or anything, but any time you get to listen to a song that reminds you of the padass? i don't complain. lol.
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 04:38 am (UTC)
Concur, concur! lol

Thats okay, My ringtone is the supernatural theme, and then my messege tone is Sam:
"Dean this is a very serious investiagtion. We don't have time for any of your bla bla bla bla!"

kewpie doll mass murderer level of cutenessfeathertofly on October 5th, 2009 04:48 am (UTC)
no way! where did you get the bla bla bla bla? I want! alright, i don't feel so bad then. i just always have to blush when i'm walking around the grocery store with my dad and everyone hear 'show me the booty, smokin booty'! actually, he blushes, i go to my happy place. :D
Danitwivamp92 on October 5th, 2009 04:54 am (UTC)
totally being nosy, but i'd *love* that as a ringtone! xD
I have a bunch of spn ones already, but still...the more the better :P
I have
Sam: "What's up? Don't you wanna answer your phone? answerrrr the phoneeeee." and
"Hey you! Answer the fricken phone."

and for Dean:
"You gotta phone call. Ring Ring, someone answer the phone for crying out loud." and
"Is anybody there? Hello, your phone's ringing!"
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 07:35 am (UTC)
I got them off www.phonezoo.com.

Its a free ringtone sight.

I also have the boys singing "Wanted:Dean or Alive"

I really wanted Carry On My Wayward Son, but the only version the sight had was from Scrubs when the quartet sang it, and it would be fine except there is talking in the front of it.

None of my friends shair my Supernatural addition, they all think Im a loser. ^.^;;
Dani: S/D|J² Kisstwivamp92 on October 5th, 2009 04:51 am (UTC)
mutherfucking WIN.
srsly, I bow down to your awesomeness.
I have tears in my eyes from laughing.
(that website is pure genious, so the fact that you actually made a fic about has just made my day. and bonus points for the Jensen site too xDDD)
srsly, this was epic.
*adds to memories*
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 07:39 am (UTC)
aahhh thanks! Your comment has made me large amouts of happy!

mindormindor on October 5th, 2009 06:17 am (UTC)
So the rise of the curve's y'=(-17/60)(sin(17x/60+4))+ln(x)where x=bottom to top?...Just to be exact. :)

Never give a math major awesome fic and a function, it's bound to end badly...

Sorry, I just couldn't stand it, great job hun!
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 07:40 am (UTC)
I guess, Heh... Like I said I didn't make the equation... I just copied and pasted.

I think it was made just to be plugged into a graphing calculator.

But thanks :D
mangacat201mangacat201 on October 5th, 2009 09:09 am (UTC)
WHO MY GOSH... seriously boys... *giggles*

PS: That shrine is awesome, but is there a REAL one for Jen? Somewhere? Please?
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 09:22 am (UTC)
Well, I'm assuming the one I linked was a real one at some point, because on google it comes up at "The former shrine to Jensen Ackles' ass" and then the website title is the same.

So idk, thats the one I found when I googled it, and I was all excited because I thought it was halarious how they made one for both of them, and then the Mike Rosenbaum thing happened and I was like

"UH WUT" and yeah. Lol
mangacat201mangacat201 on October 5th, 2009 12:09 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I got the link for JAred's and then of course searched for Jen's as well and came up with the same thing. I think Jen's was the older one, maybe it got shot down or something. Hmhmmm.. damn, I would like to have both.
myinvisibleinkmyinvisibleink on October 5th, 2009 09:27 am (UTC)
Lol, you made my day... no, no, you made my week!!!!
Seriosly, this is awesome! I can't stop laughting!
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 09:34 am (UTC)
Oh Im glad :D ^.^ thank you for commenting.
thursdaywench: HEE!!thursdaywench on October 5th, 2009 11:39 am (UTC)
yessss!!! you win! ^.^

and good thing i have other music playing, or Smack That would be stuck in my head. lolz
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 12:25 pm (UTC)
thank you :D

Yeah, smack that has been stuck in my head all night. But then I will hear Jensen's "SMACK IT!" and everything is fine. lol
(Deleted comment)
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 12:26 pm (UTC)
thank you :)
mina_roxmina_rox on October 5th, 2009 03:41 pm (UTC)
I can't even handle it. I mean, Jared's site was sent to me at one point and had me laughing so hard at the "smack it" but i had no idea about Jensen's site. it almost made me cry i was laughing so hard.
you rock!
Samspnfreak15 on October 5th, 2009 04:46 pm (UTC)
^.^ thank you.

I don't know how I went this long without finding Jared's site, the first time I saw it was last night, then I promptly wrote a fic about it, I just couldn't resist.