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05 April 2012 @ 11:45 pm
Three Text from last night Supernatural Drabbles written for Cwland  

I wrote these for a challenge at Cwland a while back, and never posted them to my journal, so here they are. I hope you find them as amusing as I did.

Text: (include the number)(646):
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairings: John, Dean, Sam, Doritos.
Word Count:123
“So you see boys, if the chip was a woman’s who-ha, the top curve of the triangle would be her magic button.” John coughed, pointing on the chip.

Sam stared horrifically at his father, then looked toward Dean who was making a face.

“Dad I think thats a little off. Sammy, its more like this.” Dean grabbed another chip out of the bag and bit off parts of the chip. “See, now it looks less like a chip and more like a Vag.”


“Sorry Dad. It looks more like a Who-Ha

“Guys. Can you please stop before I turn gay and will never be able to eat Doritos again?” Sam said.

John and Dean looked at each other and shrugged.

Text: (include the number)(610):
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairings: Sam and Jess
Word Count: 130
“BABY! Hi! Jess, Jess listen to me.” Sam slurred on the other end of the phone.

“Sam? Are you drunk?” Jess asked, looking at her phone confused.

“Maybe. Okay, okay look. Interphase is first, thats when the DNA doubles and stuff.” She could hear giggling in the background

“Sam, where are you? You said you were going for a D&D session at Tom’s...” She sighed.

“I know I know. Shh, I’m not done Jess. Then the chromosomes show up and form the spindly things and they go to opposite sides of the cell. Thats Prophase!”

“Sam are you drunk dialing me to talk about Mitosis?” Jess sighed, rubbing her forehead.


“Sam, come home and go to bed. You’re such a nerd.” She giggled and hung up.

Text: (include the number)(443):
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairings: Ellen, Bobby, Dean and most importantly, Castiel and a Cat.
Word Count:132
“What the hell is he doing?” Ellen said, pointing over to where Castiel was on the ground with Bobby’s cat.

“You are now a kitten of the lord.” Castiel mumbled out, dipping his fingers in the cup of alcohol and making a cross on the cat’s forehead.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Cas thats not holy water. Stop messing with the cat, its gunna scratch you.”

“Its holy Jungle Juice, Dean.” Castiel slurred “I made it myself. Look.” Castiel pulled a rosary out of the cup, then let it fall back in. “And this animal would never harm me. We have a profound bond. I saved it from Lucifer.”

Dean frowned “You what?”

“Lucifer is the name of the Rottweiler down the street.” Bobby grunted.

“I think maybe he has had enough ...” 

Aliciaextremespndiva on April 6th, 2012 04:01 am (UTC)
Love these :D
Sam: TeenMikespnfreak15 on April 6th, 2012 04:48 am (UTC)
Thanks XD
froggyfun365froggyfun365 on April 6th, 2012 06:21 pm (UTC)
Nikki: Supernatural - Castielsucksucksmile on April 6th, 2012 07:01 pm (UTC)